I hated being pregnant. There, I said it! I’m still wondering what I was supposed to enjoy, besides the obvious reason that in the end we get a child.
I get why some companies have issues hiring pregnant women. I’ll give you my 10 experiences:
First of all, my desk at work was not made for me to have a big belly. I tried really hard to do my job, but when you’re a close relative to Mr. Magoo and the monitor is so far away from you, it’s hard to reply to emails. I ended up agreeing to things I didn’t know what they were.
Second, it is really bad for your reputation if you start bleeding from your gum in the middle of a meeting. It really does not favour you in front of your team: “Yes, Mary, you haven’t done anything for the past year, you are terrible arrogant to your clients, you have attacked co-workers ,so you’re fired! Now, stop crying and lend me your tissue because I’m drowing in blood here.”
Third, how the hell do we stop farting?! And how is this a side effect of being pregnant? Where is this child coming from?!
Fourth, I was told that the nausea was only in the first trimester. My body did not read that memo!
Fifth – the sleep! OMG! I would fall asleep after lunch and wake up the day after. If I took the ONLY medicine that we can take to stop the nausea, people would have to poke me to go to meetings.
Sixth – There was a point hat I could barely dress myself. Forget suits and high heels. Gimme leggings and snickers. And my boyfriend to help me dress.
Seven– Oh my god everyone, is that a puppy outside on the street?! Ohhh it is so cuteeeeeeeeeee. Insert hysterical cry here.
Eight – I was part of The Hunger Games! I could eat forever… Well, that’s a lie. I took breaks to go throw up from the nausea.
Nine – The memory loss was crazy! I still haven’t recovered my brain totally ( Hey, probably it was never there to start with…), but at least now I am able to finish a sentence till the end. I completely lost my track in the middle of a conversation. I would look strangely at the person I was speaking with and babble “What are we talking about?! How did I get here?! Who are you??”
Ten – PEEING EVERY 5 MINUTES. I couldn’t get any work done. Get up, go to toilette, pull your leggings down, sit and do your thing….. Now try to get up and pull your leggings up. AH! Exactly! When you eventually return to your workplace you need to do that again in 5 seconds.
It’s hard to be our employer. True story.