Who cares?

I was reading and article about the sexual orientations that are out there. ( If you by any chance read Portuguese here is the link to that: http://observador.pt/2015/11/02/os-n-sexuais-8-caracterizacoes-sexuais-menos-conhecidas/ )

So we have the known heterosexual, Homosexual and Bisexual. Then after Miley Cyrus, we are getting a lot of people coming out as Pansexual, which is defined by not being limited to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.

Here go more:

Polysexual – it appears that this is the attraction to multiple gender s sexes.

Solosexual – are the ones that don’t feel any attraction for other people, but only for themselves. As the name indicates, they perform solo. By this doesn’t mean that they are alone. They can perform solo in groups.

Skoliosexual – a potential sexual attraction to non-binary identified individuals. I don’t really understand this one…..

Asexual – They don’t feel sexual attraction. At all.

Graysexual – They fluctuate between asexual and sexual.

Demisexual- They only feel sexual attraction if they have a strong emotional connection with someone.

Sapiosexual – These are the ones that feel sexual attraction to intelligence

I hate labels actually. And I don’t really understand the purpose. Why is there a need to be inserted specifically into a group of people?!

I like people. I don’t like them based on their appearance only so it’s really stupid to say that I only like men. If I like a person is because of what she/he is. So, I can feel attraction to anyone really. How can someone say that attraction or love or whatever, isn’t based on looks but personality and then say that they only like men or women. You like the person! Who cares in which body?!

What I’m not sure is why I find men more attractive. I struggle to understand whether if it was due to education since I was raised to believe that men and women are supposed to be together, or if it’s just my preference. Because even though I don’t want to belong to any of the groups mentioned, I have my preferences. I prefer Intelligent Latin men. But who’s to say that I won’t fall one day for someone completely different.

Human beings like Sex (apart from the asexual ones). Either alone or with other people (Please don’t remind me that there are people who like animals).

We need to get over ourselves, get over these labels that just restrict us. Who cares? Let’s just be free!

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Anesthesia for my ears

“Piropo” in portuguese is what we call a flirtation remark usually regarding te physical features of someone. Usually it’s between people who don’t know each other very well, or nothing at all. I went to look for the translation for English and I found two things:

1- “Piropo” only exists in Spanish, not portuguese. I’m not sure if this is truth or if google just thinks that Spain and Portugal are one and the same. Unfortunately I have no Portuguese dictionary at my place.
2 – “Piropo” is translated to English as a compliment or Catcalls.
Excuse me? A compliment? I don’t take a “piropo” as a compliment. I take it an unwanted remark from someone who should have remained quiet.
In circa 2013, there was a huge debate here in Portugal to analyse whether this should be considered sexual harassment or not.
For me it is sexual harassment. Sometimes it’s so excessive that a woman cannot walk down the street without being approached several times by men. I’m confused to what are they trying to accomplish when they say stuff like this (I’m just mentioning some soft ones):

  • Nice legs! At what time do they open?
  • Your mother must have been an oyster to spit out a pearl like you.
  • I wish you were a gum so that I could eat you all day
  • With you it would be until we found oil!
  • Such nice pants that you are wearing today. They would look nice in my bedroom floor.

catcall

Are we suppose to stop everything and run into the arms of who said this? Because what’s more attractive than a men (it’s mostly men, but women do this do) that is in a group of friends and says this to complete stranger that is passing by and then laughs it off with his friends?

Some say that when we stop hearing this on the streets, it’s when we should be worried. Probably the logic is that we are not attractive at all, since the people who take about anyone no longer drools at us.

imagescatcall 3
Whenever I walk around the city, I make sure that my MP3 is fully charged, so I can put my earphones one and pretend that I can’t hear anything. And I’m not even that pretty! I think that if I put a skirt on my dog and make her walk about in the city, it would be the exact same thing!
It’s something that is unwelcome. I feel like I am being undressed unwillingly and I like to be the one who choses who undresses me!

Catcall2

It’s not a compliment! It’s sexual harassment! It won’t get you anywhere! Please Stop.

Blog Conscious

Before I ever wrote on my blog, I was already a regular attendant on several Portuguese blogs.

I used to read some of the most popular ones and then the ones that would make fun of these. The sole existence of these last ones was to purely satirize the posts from the others.

The mains things that they attacked were:

  • The blogosphere friendship of the popular blogs. They were oh so friendly that it would become sick.
  • The repetition of topics. If there was an alert on the Diabetic association ( actually happened), Boom! Every popular blog would advertise this information.
  • The way of living. They tended to influence readers to join them on their endless running around the block or granola eating until you puck.
  • The posts where the purpose was only to advertise a product. There are now new rule that tries to make it mandatory for bloggers to specify when they are doing advertisements.
  • The constant rubbing in your face that you are winning a lot of money from advertisements that you can go to the best hotels, spas, and so one( usually it’s also free. All it takes is some pictures of the family by the hotel pool having a blast)

I agreed and laughed with most of the sarcastic posts. It was all so ridiculous. They were selling themselves so cheap.

Ever since I own a blog, I stopped reading these blogs altogether. The popular ones because I’m fed up with so many advertisements. The sarcastic ones because I feel bad for laughing at another person’s hard working blog, even if it’s filled with crap that I don’t like or respect.

I’ve developed a blog conscious.

this-charming-charlie

Mindfulness

“Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

I’ve been reading a book about Mindfulness and how it might improve our day-to-day life. Supposedly we have to take about 10 minutes every day to meditate. No, it´s not to sit down on the floor with legs crossed, eyes closed and humming back and forth “hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”.

Mindfullness

Besides reading the book, I’ve found the app Headspace. I listened to the first lesson while I was stuck in traffic trying to get home from work. Needn’t to say that I couldn’t concentrate not even one bit.

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to spare 10 minutes to do this, since we have to be in a calm silent place. At work, there is no calm and I have little breaks. At home, as you can imagine, there is no silence with a 3 years old kid. I could do it after she went to bed, but I might fall asleep straight away.

So I’m juggling with the idea of trying this, but If I can’t find the time to start, isn’t this doomed right from the beginning?

Charity Thinking

Sometimes, I find that speaking with others about Charity Organizations needs to be very carefull. Most people I know haven’t done squat to help anyone, but are always there to defend these Organisations. Even though most of them didn’t even contribute with small donations. We need to praise these Organisations because they are doing good, right?

That should be the idea. But is it what really happens in reality? I’m not sure….

I’ll give you my experience, not only with Organizations, but with individuals:

As a teenager I was a part of a group that helped a mother of a kid with a rare disease to sell her paintings to raise money for his regular meds. They weren’t as expensive as you might think, but still too much for someone who didn’t have a lot. She went to the TV saying that she wouldn’t give any meds to her son, until people helped her. The paintings were actually beautiful and they were not hard to sell, so we’ve made a lot of money on about 1 month selling.

The voluntaries were then invited to go to her place and have dinner with her as a sign of appreciation. Actually she was rich but didn’t want to sell her stuff and move to a house that had less space. She also preferred to use the money on her and her boyfriend than on her kid’s meds. After that I refused to keep on helping her (this initiative was once every year), and after some time I saw her again on TV, requesting people to help her. The only positive thing is that the kid is surviving against all odds…..and apparently without the meds that he should be taking.

Some time ago, a company I used to work for, asked all the people there to give money or food to an animal shelter, that works on a voluntary basis. After we gathered all of the donations, we called the shelter to arrange a date to deliver them. The person who answered the phone was a voluntary there and not part of the administration. In a low voice, he asked us whether it was monetary donations or goods. He then advised us not to give money, because the people in charge of the Organization would not spend the money on the shelter, but with themselves.

Here in Portugal, we have an extremely known organization that collects food donations for people who are hungry. What happens is that the administrators keep the food donated that is still good and take it home, and the one that isn’t they re-sell it. Very little that was donated is actually used for the purpose of the organization.

I’ve also found this article regarding US Charities:

http://www.whiteoutpress.com/articles/2014/q4/top-10-us-charities-are-scams/

So I’m a little sceptic. It’s not that I believe that all of these Organizations are scams, but how can I separate these from the good ones? I actually prefer to donate my time working on something that I can really see the end result.

What do you feel about these organisations?